BAND-SCAM

Since the dawn of human-life on Earth, sounds\noises have played an important role. In caves, when they fornicated and made noises, adjacent cave-men understood that they were playing hit-and-run. As (wo)mankind evolved, we started banging instruments instead of ........... ! Music appeared and went mainstream.

Some greatest BANDS\SINGERS of all time !

ADOLF AND THE HITLERS : With their first album 'Mein Kamph', the success of this band became immesurable. They wore army uniforms for their stage performances. And killed rabbis in their audience with their guitars. Also they preached 98% racial purity and hoped that their fans were all Aryans. Towards their decline they had only 4 fans left whatsoever. Their smash hits include "Jump Nazi Jump","Mein Fuhrer","Achtung Semites".

PEARL NECKLACE JAM : This music keeps topping the charts even though under constant diss by critics. Although fans of the band have found it to be a good substitute to sleeping pills,vodka and a bullet to the brain. Greatest hits -> "We're NOTHING ! Man","Are We Still ALIVE ?, If Yes Then Why ?","Our Future is BLACK". There was another band of the same genre called NERDVANA but they were even more queer, dyslexic than the JAM so eventually NERDVANA too blurried out.

THE AYN RAND EXPERIENCE : This was a woman who was constantly flipped-out. She tried to sing her songs in English but then in the middle of her songs randomly switched to singing in arabic,somali,gujrati and latin. The songs were good to listen to but during concerts the english-comprehending audience left and only 7.325% of people stayed back till the end.Hits include "The DICKhead","No-one Shrugged" and "Ayn Rand or How to Stop Worrying and Love Man's Ego" .

IMAGE below AYN RAND who has reincarnated herself as MARILYN MANSON in the 21st Century.

U2 A GODFATHER? : This was the first gang under the hip-hop genre. The lead singer was Vito Corleone who kick assed with the first single "Keep Yo Fuckin' Enemies Closer". In concerts Vito used his refrain hip-hop loop "An Offa Yo Mothafucka' Can't Refu". But the band was dismantled since all lead singers were named Don Corleone.

THE BHTs : When elongated this gangsta-rap gang's called The Brief History of Time gang. The BHTs with MC STEPHEN HAWKING spinning the greatest hip-hop loops ever,made sounds to stun listeners. Although MC HAWKINGs CRIB was in Cambridge, he played only for crowds in US ! Its classics were "Black Holin' ", "We're the Big Bangers" !

PANIC! AT THE TITANIC : This is a a pop/faggot/butthole fingereing /fudge packing Liberal Democrat supporting band from Uganda,Africa. They are the only known band to make a "song" about closing doors a "hit".They are also notorious for POPping up too often when people are looking for disco music, although why people would be looking for disco music is anyone's guess. Know for having as many as 10 words in a song name. Even write discography as Disco! graphy. Songs include "Since I'm Too Emo To Get One; I Like Lying About Seeing A Girl Take Her Clothes Off ","The Only Difference Between A Ship And A Submarine Is That The Ship's Supposed To Float". Band should break off because they sunk the Titanic with their bad music.

THE WHO the HELL LISTENS TO KARL MARX : Pop band of gothic rock genre ??!. Whoever listened to his musical strumming became hardcore followers of the band. Now, over a quarters of the world population idolise him. The band follow-up was, Lenin on drums, Trotsky on the bass guitar, Stalin on leads and the man himself, KARL MARX on vocals ! Highlightable charting songs are "She hates Capitalists","Thank god,We're not Born In The U.S.A.","Bourgeoisie Lovers". IMAGE below=Joseph "MARIO" Stalin.

NUNS and MOSES : The earliest known rock band to human beings. Genre: Gospel Rock. MO aka Moses on drums, PRO aka Prophet Muhaammed on bass guitars, KAY aka Krishna on rhythm guitar, WEE aka Vishnu on lead guitar and JC aka Jesus Christ on vocals. This band has nearly 92% followers in the world as of today. The remaining 8% are hippies,atheists,insignificant ! Smash hits include "Sweet Holy Child Of Mine", "November Pray","No Sympathy for the Devil","Lets Knock on Heavens Doors".

ANTHRAX : This is the first band which is real on this list. WTF ! ? Shame on you for letting it exist. Why would you listen to them,they are probably helpers at some chemist shop. What could be their hit tracks ? "Give me Penicillin" ,"My Blood has more Crocin than RBC " ,"Who shot me Tetanus" !

*P.S. : Sorry I just snapped when this band name came to my mind*

GREEN GAY : The band enjoyed moderate success in the early '40s, with some nausea, itchiness, death, and diarrhea as a side effect. Their album Canadian Idiot was a smash hit. 57 people in the world liked it. The rest did'nt come to know of it. They tried their hand at singles including the hit one, "The Snails Are Comin" feat. rapper Alphabet U and Numeral 2. Their album up for release in 2009 is named 21st Century Breakdown but it is heavily prophesized that the magnetic tapes and LPs of this album would be burned and buried in ground and Green Gay will rename this album as Let's See What Other Generic Shit We Can Release.

PUNK FREUD : English progressive punk-psych-out band. Band consisted of punks who were soon going to be world leaders. Includes George W Bush, Prince Charles,Vladimir Putin.Discography includes "Wish You Were There in IRAQ", "The Mall not in Berlin,in Kabul", "Gummamummadumma-no-lumma", "We are Muddled", "A Saucerful of Things Known by Everyone", "Dark Side of The Balloon", and "The Final Nut".

THE BEATLESS : Lots of girls would throw their knickers at them on stage believe it or not. Nobody knows how they managed to get them off in the crowd. This musical phenomenon of the 1960s went on to release pop songs with success until the Sixties finished. And if you can remember the Sixties, you're a liar.

The members were four irreverent Liverpudlians, Paul MacArtrey, 'Dingo'Starfish, Hari Hari Georgeson, and John Lemmon. The massive success of the group was quite big, though musically they were consistently in the Shadows of Kerman's Kermits and the Dave Clunk Six. They are often seen as an Oasis spin off band, capturing similar looks to that of Noel Gallagher and Liam Gallagher.

The number of songs they wrote are equal to the number of stars in the Milky Way. Some of them are..........

"All You Need is Lunch" ," Help! My Appendix Just Burst" , "Revolution 5.21" , "Hard On's Night ", Lucy and This Guy With Lots Of Jewellery On" , "The Salad of John And Yokozuna".

Image below The Album cover of ABBEY ROAD aka MAC OSX DOCK .

Image above THE KILLERS. Short-lived attempt by George W. Bush, Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler and Osama-Bin-Laden to cash in on the Indie\Alternative Rock scene. Super Success.

Its a New Point of View

It's always interesting to get another point of view on life. Some people try to gain that perspective through drugs. Some people try to get it through playing golf. Some people try to play golf while on drugs,even. Some also by watching sports they do not play !

So what is this POINT OF VIEW ?

It is abbreviated POV and is probably hiding in Pakistan. This point "seems" to be within our grasp in our field of vision but vanishes when we try to reach it. Thus the POV is sometimes called the vanishing point (oppossite of Vantage Point which is a movie). For example, two parallel tracks of rails seem to converge in a vanishing point or POV when observed and vertical objects like high-rises appear conical when observed. If we stare at the POV for long enough, the point becomes a blind spot. A blind spot isn't literally a blind spot in our field of vision but has something to do with rods and cones in our eyes (now this is a non-optical-meta-paradox or an non-optical-linguistic-paradox for it is a paradox within a paradox, namely: how can a spot be blind if it has no eyes to begin with? It does not exist; yet it's called a spot?).

People with POVs are said to be think tanks\intellectuals\powerhouses of knowledge\hippies\beatniks\probably you.

There are a lot of people in the world having claimed fame by merely having a POV. Among them number Picasso, Arundhuti Roy, Paris Hilton, Hippie Stinton, Steve Golfun,the British !

A few POVs have been discussed below.

• ULTRA-FEMINIST POV : This is difficult. It is difficult to see the female point of view for reasons that have more to do with social mores, morality, chastity, decorum etc. than any lack of corrective lenses. The female is always shielded by clothes and hides her body. Devoid of clothes and bodies, you will see that the female figure is parallel, as in 35-35-35, and you will then see the converging POV. If you stare at the POV for long enough, it will blind you, i.e. it will become a blind spot. If you stare any longer, it will turn into a G-Spot.(if you are a female reading this then it has to be your POV not to take offence, but damn, you will still have a POV.)

• BULLIED BOYs POV : He has been beaten a lot by his classmates and then repeatedly kicked in the groin. If this boy were to explain to his classmates that he were a POV hence would be a paradox, and therefore incapable of existing in the real world, their argument will collapse. Obviously they will still be capable of kicking him in the groin but the bullied boy will be able to revel in the knowledge that they had made a false assertion.

• OLD MANs POV : When I was born, i was very young.

• BENJAMIN BUTTONs POV : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH Old Man ! ROFLMAO !

• WINSTON CHURCHILLs POV : I have fucked every nation and every nationality !

• JOHN LENNONs POV : Imagine all the people, living life in peace !

• ADOLF HITLERs POV : Fuckche youn Lennonaich !!

• WOODY ALLENs POV : Ill introduce you to my wife but she is also my daughter !

• NEWTONs POV : Factor the denominators of the defractors of all your subjects and calculate the lowest common multiple (LCM) by viewing them through a prism. When your view is from a point of view that does not diffract light into an apple then you have the lowest common multiple of all the POV's.

• Even the REAR VIEW MIRROR in your car has a POV : Objects in the mirror may have a POV different than you see.

So im sure you too have a POV. Pls establish a POV. If you don't have a POV, you will not qualify for ranking in the list of afore-mentioned celebrities.

Ostrich on POV : You nincompoop, POV doesn mean POINT OF VIEW. It means PROUD OSTRICH VANITY.

image : Cartman-bin-Laden, has a POV.